Although not all of these procedures and products are budget busters, habitually searching for the fountain of youth is always going to be a costly endeavor. Here are just a few of the crazy fads that wealthy people are indulging in now.
What it is: Basically freezing yourself. After disrobing, you don a surgical mask, socks, and gloves and step into a chamber that cools to between -200 to -240° F for 90 seconds.
What it costs: Around $65 for 90 seconds in a full body chamber
Supposed benefits: Reduced inflammation seems to be the number one claim here, as it was developed for rheumatoid arthritis sufferers and has been used by athletes to reduce recovery times in training. Also claims to work on depression, insomnia, as well as “psychological stress,” which seems deliberately vague.
Does it actually do anything? Who knows? It hasn’t been evaluated by the FDA, so they don’t have to prove any of their claims. I could see how it might reduce inflammation, but so would an ice pack or some ibuprofen. As for the insomnia claims, well, people usually fall asleep when they are freezing to death, but I’m not sure you can really list that as a benefit.
What it is: A diet plan that seeks to reduce the acidity of your blood by abstaining from “acid-producing” foods. You are basically reduced to only fruits, vegetables, nuts, legumes, and soy. No meat, no alcohol, sugar, or caffeine; just lots and lots of (preferably alkaline) water.
What it costs: A lot. You are not going to be able to eat almost any prepared foods, so be ready to cook everything from scratch yourself. Also, alkaline water isn’t terribly cheap, considering how much you’re supposed to be drinking. A gallon jug costs $16.96, and plan on drinking that at least every two days. This diet is going to be time-consuming, prevent you from going out with friends, and make you a real pain as a house guest. Also, you have to buy test strips to pee on to test your urine. Seriously.
Supposed benefits: Prevents cancer and osteoporosis, cures any sort of digestive issues; you name it, this supposedly cures it.
Does it actually do anything? It’s not a bad diet plan for losing weight, but all of the other claims proponents make are specious at best, and most are completely false. You cannot alter the pH of your blood with your diet, it is carefully regulated by your organs. This will not prevent nor cure cancer or osteoporosis, period. You’ll probably lose weight, but you’ll also lose friends and spare time, since you won’t be able to socialize (you’re not even supposed to drink the water at restaurants!) and you’ll need to continually restock your kitchen, as fruits and vegetables have a shorter shelf life.
What it is: A proprietary wand that combines light suction and microwaves to destroy underarm sweat glands.
What it costs: Around $2,500 for 2 sessions
Supposed benefits: This one has actually been cleared by the FDA since 2011, but I only recently heard about it for cosmetic (non medical) purposes. Apparently it kills your sweat glands permanently, resulting in an 83% reduction in sweat production. It also kills the glands that produce odor, and damages hair follicles, resulting in reduced hair growth. Apparently the affluent and aluminum deodorant averse have adopted this as a one-stop cure all for underarm grossness.
Does it actually do anything? You bet. Again, the FDA has approved it for permanent sweat/odor gland and hair removal, and it has been on the market for five years now without any reports of long-term side-effects. The initial price tag seems like a lot, but botox injections to temporarily stop excess perspiration routinely cost $1,000, and need to be redone every 6 months.
What it is: Basically a perm for your eyebrows. This treatment is for women who are growing out their eyebrows and need help wrangling their hairs into place, but haven’t figured out brow gel. Each of your hairs is permed into place in order to create a more pleasing, low maintenance brow “architecture.”
What it costs: Starts at $45 for the 30 minute procedure, but obviously you’ll have to add on additional tweezing/shaping services, so probably closer to $90.
Supposed benefits: Keeps all of your hairs growing in the right direction, acts as a combover for patchy bits that haven’t grown in yet.
Does it actually do anything? Well it seems like it would burn like hell. Supposedly all of your brow hairs will be perfectly coiffed for eight weeks. There’s not really a whole lot of information out there, but people have been perming their eyelashes for years, so it probably works okay?
What it is: Coffee with butter and coconut oil in it. Or, as the inventor puts it: a blended drink made of Upgraded Coffee blended together with grass-fed unsalted butter and Brain Octane Oil.
What it costs: If you make it at home, the coffee alone is $18.95 for 12 ounces (not even a pound!) and grass-fed organic butter doesn’t come cheap, either. You can get 14 servings of his powdered instamix (somehow with butter? Powdered butter? And powdered coconut oil?) for $29.95. So if you bought everything off of his website it would cost approximately $3.19 per cup. Plus you need a french press and a blender. Right now they have one shop in Santa Monica, where a small coffee will cost you $4.25. Since you’re supposed to have this every day, that adds up to $1,164-$1,551 per year. There is also a book and a diet plan, in case you really want to fall down a rabbit hole.
Supposed benefits: Increased alertness,” brain energy”, metabolism, and apparently you will feel bulletproof.
Does it actually do anything? I mean, regular coffee does those first three things already, so probably. But does it do it better than regular coffee? Doubtful. I’m sure downing a cup of coffee mixed with fat is going to lead to some… interesting bathroom time.
Usually my posts are full of links, but since most of this stuff is a complete waste of time and money, if you want it, you can google it. But feel free to hit up the link below and do some shopping if this post has inspired you to spend. I may earn a small commission on sales.